Just a life rant, feel free to ignore!

hmmm, im only writing this as i feel that i need somewhere to well, rant, and not so much rant, but just let out what i thinking and feeling, so im not bottling it all up!
now i dunno if this is normal, but at the moment im rele struggling with the whole concept of growing up, it scares me, i no longer live at home as my parents kicked me and my younger brother out, he lives with my nan, and i live with my boss, and i know i should be looking for a flat, but thats scary :( now both my grandparents are sick, ouir grandparents raised us, as we have dysfunctional parents granddad will never leave his nursing home, and now they want nan to go to one, :( but my brother lives with nan at her house, and now shes being  taken away, so i have to deal with him, and he has behavior issues, and i have depression issues, so i get sad cos he gets angry and then he gets angry at himself for making me sad, horrid circle, and i just wanna rewind time to when i was abit younger to when all i had to worry about was what was gunna be in my sandwiches, sad to admit it, but i rele miss my dad :(

sitting here thinking about all i miss made me think about autie, now autumn is my rough collie, well should i say was my rough collie,  but when i went away for a year as a gap year, working, my parents made me rehome her, and i had a friend who lost one of her two dogs, so she asked to have autie, as autie and jazz are a similar age and she didnt want to get another puppy, but she is miles away and it would be unfair for me to visit her as she wouldnt know why i was leaving, but i miss her so much, we did so much together, and won so much, and she was my only friend threw a rather shitty upbringing, *crys :(* i just want to cuddle her and never have to let her go and i cant :(
anyway, im all cried out, and have to go visit nan in the hospital and granddad in the home tomorrow, taking robert with me, so totally need my strength! night guys xx